Share your feelings. And then stop.
Most of the time it’s good to share feelings. Talking helps me figure out what’s really going on inside.
I want to look more like Jesus. I want to be more intimate with Him. People around me have helped me get deeper into the Kingdom.
But there are important steps in healing and transformation that only happen alone, between you and God. There comes a point when you need to listen to only one voice. Talking won’t bring you any closer to God. Other people will derail you.
At this stage in the process if you keep talking about your stuff, with the best intentions friends will try and talk you out of what’s happening. They’ll say, “Oh, that’s not really a problem in your life,” which dampens the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Or your friends will say, “Don’t be sad, let’s make you feel better by watching a movie,” which can bury a problem instead of healing a hurt. Or they’ll pile on and try and convince you that you’re actually worse than you thought: “Yes, I’ve seen that in you and I think God wants you to change this ugly thing too.” The Holy Spirit convicts. Too often we judge.
You need to trust the process. You need to trust that Holy Spirit knows you better than your friend, your mother, your father, your spouse… better even than YOU know you.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way. – Psalm 139:23-24
Sometimes you need to talk it out. God loves community and friendship.
But sometimes you need to stop talking and be silent… still listening but to just One voice.